TiK ToK: My Biological Clock.

Before 4:00 PM, I had it all figured out. Post-Yale I would go to a post-baccalaureate program, enroll in medical school and become a resident. I’ve always thought that maybe there would be marriage and babies in between. If not during my medical education, there would definitely be children after. Why not? I know I want to be a mother someday. But according to Corey Whelan and Ken Mosesian of the American Fertility Association, my thought process was the exact same one that millions of infertile women had when they were my age. At their talk on February 8 called, “Why Nature Wants You To Get Laid Right Now (But please wait until we leave the room…)”, I learned that by the age of twenty-seven, there is a significant dip in fertility for women. After that change, it becomes more difficult to conceive a healthy baby. I did some quick math, and realized that by the time that I finish post-bac and medical school, I will be twenty-eight. Twenty-eight?! When is there going to be any time to meet a nice guy, to fall in love, to get married and have babies? It’s just not in the cards. All I want in the world is to feel the love that my mother has for my brother and me, a love that I cannot fully comprehend. But the other thing I really want is to be able to support myself completely. Is there any way I can have it all? For some reason, I decided that this was the perfect time to make the decision about my future (or at least this is what I thought when I first heard all of this information): Should I give my career ambitions up so I can have time for a family and choose a different job, or should risk infertility?

Clearly, I was overwhelmed. I eventually got (somewhat of) a hold of myself so I could listen to Whelan and Mosesian discuss other options and ways to remain as fertile as possible. The more I listened, the more I realized that the opportunity for a healthy family is not over at twenty-seven. There is egg donation, egg surrogacy, in vitro and even egg freezing that can help a woman having trouble conceiving. We were also told of certain foods and toxins to avoid in order to remain as fertile as possible. My brain was on overdrive, and I made a mental list of my health “do’s” and “dont’s.” No fish (too much mercury), broccoli (my favorite vegetable), nail polish, laughing gas, and certain kinds of make-up. I managed to put a mental side note to eat more black licorice (ew) in order to absorb all of the excess toxins in my body on that list. I should work out, eat right, and find a partner who can maintain an erection, has a high sperm count, is healthy, and is not on steroids. You can probably tell, I was going a bit crazy.

All of a sudden I realized the absurdity of what I was thinking. I wondered why an (almost) twenty year old would ever think about fertility and why I was thinking about a future family. My whole life I’ve been self-directed towards building a successful career, and now I’m thinking about giving it up for some guy and kids? I thought I was going insane. Before this talk, I couldn’t understand anyone who mentioned marriage or babies or long-term relationships to me. It seemed so distant and irrelevant to my life, a life that mainly consists of studying, doing work for extracurriculars, and then going out to party and potentially having a no-strings-attached make-out. A meaningful relationship would be great, but it definitely has never been a priority. I always thought of myself as an independent, hard-working woman. So even after rationalizing all of this, why am I still worried about my biological clock? Whelan’s reason for discussing this with people in my age group is because she (as well as the American Fertility Association) believes that “the best time to think about it is now.” She continued to say that it’s best for younger people to be thinking and educating themselves about fertility so they’re not blind sighted if they have trouble conceiving in the future. It seems to make sense, but I think it’s scary as hell. I have no immediate conclusions on what I want to do, but until I figure it out, I guess I’ll just force-feed myself licorice.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This talk was incredibly informative, exciting, and not nearly as depressing as I make it appear in this article. To get the information from this talk, visit the American Fertility Association’s website. They had three handouts: one is called “The Dirty Dozen,” a list of environmental factors that effect fertility. The second is the booklet for the American Fertility Association’s Infertility Prevention Program 2009, and the third was a CD called “Beginnings: 2010 National Fertility and Adoption Directory,” also from The American Fertility Association.