From Raging Bull to Purple Kitten in Nine Easy Steps

by Ron Louis and David Copeland

When you want to take a budding relationship to the next level (your bedroom), then you will have to plan a seduction date with this exact goal in mind.

But this type of date can be relatively difficult to conclude successfully; seduction dates are dramatically different from other introductory or “priming” dates. Given how much time you are spending together and that romantic feelings will likely be in the air, you both may be more tense than usual. She will be off in her own world thinking of reasons why or why not you could be a couple. You will probably be off in your world thinking of the stupid things you’ve said, worrying about whether she is having fun, and wondering when you’ll get to see her naked. All this can create trouble.

Another thing that makes seduction dates even more volatile than priming dates is that by this time, you both have more of an investment in each other than you did before. This creates expectation and tension, which can create problems.

You’ll know you have a problem if she gets upset about anything. You may say or do something that offends her or that goes against her values. The two of you together might have an upsetting experience, and she may need to talk about it. No matter what happens to upset her, the solution is the same. If you modify some of the steps, you can use them in long-term relationship conflicts as well.

1. Listen to her

When they are upset, most women just want someone (you) to listen to them. If your date can express her problem, concern, or misunderstanding early enough, it will likely go away easily. Just listen without interrupting her or trying to fix it. When you listen to her, she is likely to calm down quickly.

2. Repeat back what you heard

A woman not only wants to know you listened to her, but also wants to make sure that you completely understand everything she said. When you repeat back what you heard her say, it gives you an opportunity to clarify anything you may have misunderstood, and an opportunity to demonstrate that you really are listening, which will also help to calm her down.

3. Thank her

Even if you feel angry that she is telling you all her thoughts and opinions, and you really couldn’t possibly care less, thank her for taking the time and the risk to talk to you. In her world, she is taking a risk by telling you her problems or concerns. By getting it off her chest, so to speak, she is likely to feel more relaxed and more connected to you.

She may also be testing you to see how you respond. When you thank her, she can see that you are caring and sensitive. It also foreshadows, for her, how you might respond during a future conflict. When you behave like a gentleman and respond like a caring guy, she will trust you more and will want more physical intimacy with you as well.

4. Continue to listen to her

It is likely that after she has one problem, another will surface in conjunction with the first. Once again, let her tell you any other problem she feels is necessary. Your job is to listen, repeat what she says back to her, and thank her.

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